Pensey Hayes. Satday, Libra 3rd, 2353 AA. 8:02 PM. 2253. Remington Memorial Medical Center.
“Visiting hours are technically over, Mr. Matthews, but if you are feeling up to it, there’s a certain young lady who is very eager to speak with you.”
Pensey waited beside the door so Hace couldn’t see her, in case he was too tired. Part of her hoped that he would ask for privacy. Is this insensitive? Is this a stupid idea? But the nurse bid her enter with a smile. And as soon as she stepped in and saw his face, her resolve hardened.
He looked very good for a guy who just got out of surgery. And his face lit with a smile when he saw her.
“Pensey!” Hace said. “Did you get checked out? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, thanks to you and Lin,” Pensey said. “How are you feeling?”
“Not great!” Hace admitted. “But also pretty good, all things considered.”
She remembered Hace deliriously worrying about losing his pulverized rib as they rested after the fight. In the end, he never recovered his wyrd enough to jump them back himself. Master Fitzgerald arrived after about five minutes, accompanied by two other Masters. Several trips of three later, they were back in reality. Hace, Lin, and Renair were sent to Remington, and Pensey insisted on accompanying them.
“Were they able to rebuild your rib?”
He nodded enthusiastically.
“It’s sore as hell, but it is literally better than it was before it broke,” Hace said. “Apparently after Lin and I were admitted, Athenon Valmont insisted on picking up the bill, and he opted for the most ridiculously expensive, totally unnecessary fix possible. A significant part of my lower right rib is now medithurgic mithril.”
Mithril was one of the most valuable metals on the planet, usually reserved for very delicate implants, as it almost never induced any kind of immune rejection from the patient. It also had a number of other dubiously fabled properties, like being nigh indestructible, imparting the owner with a sixth sense for danger, and other bullshit. But that’s still so cool.
“Oh my god, that’s so cool,” Pensey said.
“Yeah, my physical net worth just went up by about a thousand percent,” Hace joked.
Pensey rolled her eyes and scoffed.
“Have you spoken with the Keepers yet?” She asked.
“Just finished getting the third degree before you got in. They talk to you too?”
“Yeah. The first of many times, I’m sure. From what I gather, neither of us are in trouble.”
“Not yet at least,” Hace said. “They aren’t sure whether they are going to press charges or disciplinary measures given the extenuating circumstances. I’m sure it will be fine.”
Pensey snickered sadly.
“Yeah. About that. Lin was a little more reckless when it came to rescuing us.”
“I still don’t get what was happening with the cat!” Hace said, distracted. “Like, I know you explained it was some kind of half-Cheshire lab experiment before Fitz arrived, but I never really got the full explanation.”
“The cat was just the tip of the iceberg,” Pensey said gravely. “Apparently, Lin hijacked a campus security cruiser and used it to get from the dining hall to our dorms.”
“Alinore Valmont stole a car?” Hace said.
“Yeah. Campus Security is pressing criminal charges. If she’s convicted, she might actually get expelled. Lin’s hoping to argue her case under extenuating circumstances, and I’m sure her family can afford an excellent leximancer, but…”
But she could still be gone. Pensey was doing everything she could to avoid dwelling on that possibility. Lin had put on a brave face, saying that she wouldn’t do anything differently, even if it meant the end of her amagiate career. But Pensey could tell that she knew her odds weren’t great, and that she was already trying to come to terms with what was effectively the loss of her life to date.
“Shit,” Hace said. “Can I… act as, like, a character witness or something? We’d be dead without her help. It will probably come down to Renair’s word against ours. Fortunately, my testimony has a little more legal weight than his.”
“Lin told me she heard he’s still in critical condition. That toxin the elves used apparently scrambled his brain and nervous system. Like, he’s not like… vegetative… but he’s pretty close. And they aren’t sure if he’s gonna recover.”
“Couldn’t have happened to a nicer creep,” Hace said.
Pensey emanated emphatic agreement.
“Oh! Totally. Fuck him. I’m just worried people will think we were the aggressors. It might be better if he was awake enough to try and lie.”
“Again, I’m pretty good with my tongue.” Hace clenched his eyes, realizing the innuendo too late. “Because I tell the truth. With my tongue. God damn it.”
Pensey cracked up.
The nurse who had escorted Pensey in leaned in the doorway and called:
“Two minutes, lovebirds.”
Hace raised an eyebrow at her and then turned to Pensey. But she headed him off, spoke first:
“I may have told the nurse and the officers that I was your girlfriend, so they would take pity on me and let me see you.”
After three seconds of stupefaction, Hace managed to say:
“Oh?”
Pensey nodded. Commit!
“Consider it aspirational. I don’t know how you feel about me but I have had a crush on you since we were in the Chirothecam labyrinth together. And seeing how you just saved my life… Well. Life is too short for long crushes. I like you.”
Hace gaped at her, then smiled and lowered his gaze, turning red.
“Uh wow. Honestly? I… am beginning to doubt whether I am good boyfriend material,” Hace said at length. “Go through enough break ups and you eventually realize the problem might be you. But if you’re willing to give me a chance, I’m not going to let it slip away.”
Pensey blinked. It was like he had short-circuited her. She was so focused on the ideas behind his answer that she couldn’t actually understand the words. I think that’s good. But…
“Could you repeat that?”
Hace snickered and smiled:
“I like you too.”
Pensey was a generally happy person, upbeat, cheerful. All that good shit. But there were moments where she felt like she was just pantomiming. Faking it until she made it. Life was hard. But now I’ve made it. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t want to be with him.
“I usually move pretty fast. Too fast,” Hace admitted. “Honestly, I kind of… blast through all the romance. So this time I want to take things slow. Okay? Like, I want to be your good friend before I become your boyfriend.”
“Yeah,” Pensey said, nodding. “That works for me.”
She bit her lip, turned around, and walked out.
—Alinore Valmont | 12:00 PM. | Solday, Libra 4th | Arroyo Athenaeum—
Lin went about her morning as normal. She led exercises for lower classmen, ate breakfast, and answered people’s questions honestly. “There’s a good chance I’ll get expelled!” and I admitted it with a smile. But now I have to explain everything that happened to Carroll. And expect him to believe me. Jesus Christ. She had no doubt that word of her exploits had already reached his ears, one way or another. So I don’t know what to expect.
She knocked on his office and he opened the door immediately.
“Right on time,” he said, smiling, though to Lin’s eyes his face was stiff.
“Well. As my teacher likes to say, ‘A few seconds make all the difference in the world—’”
“‘A minute moreover,’” he added finishing his own turn of phrase. Then he asked. “May I hug you? I heard you got quite a thrashing.”
Lin moved forward and hugged him. Her ribs had been set and she was wearing a wrap, but there was no way to move that didn’t hurt at least a little. Carroll squeezed her back gently:
“I am so sorry, my dear,” he said.
“You sure you’re on my side? You haven’t heard the story from my own two lips yet.”
“You always have the benefit of my doubt,” he said solemnly. “Rest assured, you are in for a very long lecture. But I can wait until I am better informed.”
“Well, where to start…” Lin said, sighing.
“I’d hope you’d give me enough time to take it from the top.”
Lin rolled her eyes and intoned:
“In the beginning, there was nothing…”
Carroll gave her a withering scowl. Lin laughed. She loved how earnest he was. How easy to tease. And how patient he was with her. And with that, she settled on a suitable starting point:
“Well. To begin with, you’ll be happy to know I broke up with Azmuir…”
—1:37 PM—
Lin gave him a beat-by-beat account of what happened, periodically backtracking to pertinent details, like the adoption of Ginsburg. She also made an early point of her vindication: last night, amagiate authorities discovered illegal alchemical product and paraphernalia at Renair Grant’s house. But as Lin told her story, Carroll’s expression soured.
“So what was your mistake?” Carroll asked. “What lessons can we learn from this?”
“I’m not ready to be a Keeper yet,” Lin admitted. “I was utterly outclassed. If I had a full count of anima, we might have been able to incapacitate Renair on our own, but… I survived on a fluke. Even with Matthews, Pensey, and the elves helping me.”
“What else?” Carroll asked.
“Honestly, I think I did the right thing.” Lin said, recalcitrant. “I saved Pensey, Matthews, and caught the person who’s been killing my classmates.”
Carroll’s smile fell. He seemed sad. No. Worse. He’s disappointed.
“Yes, Lin. You ‘won.’ But you put Pensey in harm’s way to do it,” Carroll said.
The realization gutted Lin. It hit her harder than anything Renair had done to her.
“You are already a brilliant Keeper, Lin,” Carroll said. “You worked like a true venture would. But you acted with authority you do not have, and mistook a trusted associate for a venturemate. I am to blame, in part. I gave you the tools to do the right thing, the wrong way.”
This hurt so much worse than any punishment he could have come up with. Mercifully, he seemed to recognize that. And bowed his head.
“I should have let him go,” Lin said. “I should have reported it to the amagia… But then Matthews would have died.”
The raw math of it weighed on her.
“Most likely,” Carroll admitted. “But he’s chosen the same path as you. And there is a very narrow possibility he would have seen sense and let Renair go.”
“Fuck,” Lin said dejectedly.
“Up until you asked Pensey to tail Renair, and… even after that point, your actions were exemplary. I will of course argue that to the jury and do my absolute best to make them aware of the extenuating circumstances. The safer bet, by far, is to have your father pull some strings and get the Juris Lexis to dismiss the charges against you. No trial. No charges. No expulsion.”
Lin nodded. And then the weight of it caught up to her. She cried, but she refused to look weak as she did it. She didn’t make a sound beyond breathing. And she began to shudder. Wake up. This is like an awful dream, it has to be, please wake up. But she stood rooted in time, hating herself and hurting.
“No,” Lin said. “I don’t want that. I fucked up, and I should have to pay the price.”
“Do you have the nerve to throw it all away with a no-contest plea? Because I certainly would not. I will support whatever means you want to argue, Lin. But my advice is to swallow your pride.”
“I’ll fight it in court,” Lin growled. “And if the system finds me at fault, I shouldn’t be a Keeper anyway.”
Carroll sighed.
“What did your parents say?”
“What every parent would tell their child amidst a scandal. ‘We’re just happy you’re safe. And we are proud of you for saving fellow students.’ We haven’t actually had a real conversation about it yet. I’m sure it’s coming soon enough though.”
Lin’s symphone started ringing. The caller ID reported: Arroyo Keeping Force. She looked to Carroll, then turned back to her phone and answered.
“This is Lin Valmont,” she said.
— 2:04 PM | Central Arroyo (AKF Central Precinct)—
The detectives had her take them through the story again from the top. If she was being inconsistent with yesterday’s statement, they didn’t correct her.
“What am I being charged with?” Lin asked, when she had finished.
Detective D. Knight sort of smirked. Is that Kimiss Knight’s father? Oh god. I bet he’s a real prick.
“Do you want the codes too?” he asked, as if to prove her point.
“I know the codes,” Lin said icily.
The detective scoffed and then shrugged:
“Alright. Misdemeanors: one count illegal transference, one instance of harboring alchemical contraband, one count public disturbance, and one count of unwittingly admitting a faen creature to campus buildings. Now for felonies: one count of impeding the intervention against an active shooter, one count of grand theft—which is a rare one, usually we don’t give a shit about grand theft unless it is amagiate property or the heist was facilitated by magic—and because you hijacked our vehicle, one count of posing as an amagiate peacekeeping officer.”
Lin took her crimes like lashes. She was so stunned that she didn’t notice the detective walk out, then smirked ruefully at herself. At least he knows not to ask me to confess before I’ve been officially charged. It was a somewhat archaic trick, because it was a notoriously known ‘gotcha’ in crime fiction, to the extent that most sane police had abandoned the practice.
An unhealthily heavy-set man entered the room and smiled brightly at Lin in a way she found immediately off-putting. His collar pins called him out as Deputy Chief, and his nameplate read J. Borman.
“Well, Miss Valmont.” Borman said, his voice cloyingly sweet. “After reviewing your final statement, the good Juris Lexis, Nactor Brooks, has decided to dismiss the charges that were brought against you due to the, uh, extraordinary extenuating circumstances.”
Lin had to hold down a wave of bile. It was hard enough to stomach her illicit pardon by itself. He’s doing everything but winking and using air quotes in his gestures. Lin knew from a deep place somewhere in her gut that Borman was the kind of man who saw every pretty woman as a whore, and this situation was better than sex for him. You want to work in the Arroyo Chapter, Alinore. This man will be one of your bosses.
“Th-thank you, Deputy Chief Borman.”
“Yep. Free to go. Good to get back to school like it never happened. But uh… try to keep it in your pants, huh, bluebie? You know what I mean? You’ll be on the field soon enough.” He slapped Lin in the arm and gestured for her to step into the hall.
Lin walked stiffly into the hall and bowed her head at Borman who was still smiling a little too broadly for her liking. As he started to walk away, he spun around as if he remembered:
“Oh! Nice job on that dealer. With any luck, he’ll stay a drool-sack for the rest of his life.”
Borman made an expression that pantomimed catatonia with truly grotesque insensitivity, then chuckled, and walked down the hall, shaking his head at his own cleverness. Again, Lin held her composure. But this time she could taste the bile against the back of her teeth.
—6:48 | Brookside (Valmont Estate)—
Lin pulled into the drive way of the Valmont estate at sunset, stepping out of her car, and catching her reflection in the mirror. Look at my privilege looking at me. She turned to face the castle of a house that she had called home from birth. And now a get out of jail free card.
She still felt sick to her stomach. If you were a truly good person, you’d have the courage to renounce it. She looked back in the window, straightened up her hair and zipped up her uniform sleeves, even though it was ungodly hot. Her mother hated her uniform, but her father refused to let her criticize it… so long as Lin wore it to code.
“Alinore,” Mirian said, smiling broadly. “What a pleasant surprise. You’re just in time for dinner.”
If it’s a pleasant surprise, how did you know to come greet me out front?
“Hi mom,” Lin said. “I need to talk to dad before we eat.”
“Your father is busy,” Mirian said. “Talk to me.”
Fine. I bet you were the one behind this anyway. And in exchange for having dad call in the favor, you would put up with my ‘tantrum.’
“Did he have the Juris Lexis dismiss the charges against me?” Lin asked.
“Yes,” Mirian said, easy as breathing. Then she added: “I told him to.”
Of course you did. Lin sighed. What’s done is done. It’s wrong, but… I’m still happy. I don’t know what I would do with myself if I had to give up magic. But at the same time… Jesus Christ.
“Look. Mom, I’m grateful, bu—”
“I’m glad to hear it,” Mirian said smiling. “Then let’s consider the matter settled.”
“You can’t treat me like I’m above the law,” Lin said, hoarse.
“Yes, well. See that you don’t act like it in the future,” Mirian said, still sickly sweet.
Is she actually happy about this? It was like a wet blanket to the face. She can lord this over me for the rest of my life. I just proved her right about everything. Then Mirian’s smile fell and she sighed. It was like she was dropping her mask. Her expression held an earnestness that even Lin could easily parse. She paused for several seconds before speaking:
“I don’t want to see you miserable, Lin,” she began. “I don’t believe you are well-suited to being an Amagiate Peacekeeper. I have made no secret of this, but I’ve never said it outright.”
Lin felt naked. She had accused her mother of harboring that opinion, to her face, at least a dozen times. But her mother never gave her the satisfaction of an answer. And part of Lin hoped that maybe she was wrong. Maybe her mother did believe in her. It was like she calculated the grand reveal to be as cruel as possible. Lin started to tear up.
“Why don’t you think I would make a good Keeper?”
Mirian hesitated.
“There’s too much of me in you.”
What?
“You enjoy power. You enjoy supremacy. You like to dominate. You have your father’s strengths and noble ambition. But you have my desires Lin, and my drive. These are not suitable qualities for a peacekeeper. If you were more like your father, or Athren….” Mirian shook her head, as if to dismiss the line of conversation.
Lin shook her head and intercepted her mother’s gaze.
“No. Tell me what you mean by that. How am I unlike Athren and dad?”
“Despite your drive, you don’t believe in pragmatism, Lin. You don’t engage in political reality. You may be stronger than both of them, but idealism and desire alone should not be your guiding compass. Yesterday, you clearly demonstrated that when it comes down to it, you will act in self-interest as opposed to following protocol.”
Lin hung her head. I have no rebuttal. No defense.
“Then why aren’t you letting me get expelled?”
Mirian took a deep breath and nodded, as if that was a fair question.
“Even though I find your path unsuitable, you’ve been walking it for two decades. I would have to be a fool to let you throw that away.”
Lin gulped. No. I’m the fool. Her mother read the pain in her eyes, and her composure broke momentarily.
“Alinore,” Mirian began, then sighed, and continued in Japanese: “My daughter. I am not needlessly cruel. It may surprise you to learn this, but I don’t think anyone should lose everything over a single mistake. And I will not fault myself for doing what any mother would do to help their child given the opportunity.”
I have never felt more defeated in my life. Mirian approached her almost cautiously, then hugged Lin. She reciprocated and was surprised to find comfort in her mother’s arms—the last place she would ever look for it.
Shit. Why is it that I can only love you when I’m hating myself?
