Alinore Valmont. Satday, Libra 10th, 2353. 5:56 PM. Arroyo Athenaeum (Stadium).
Lin joined the party proper after her spat with Azmuir. Fitting that we’d part after a healthy match of passive aggression. She always said that he ‘challenged her,’ but in the rearview mirror, it all looked like moodiness and manipulation. Fucker. Anyway. Done with him. Time to drown my sorrows and dance the night away.
As Lin made her way into the crowd, she girded herself against the inevitable social pressure; the mingling wyrds and stray conversations all contrasted against her own awkwardness, not knowing who to talk to, or what to talk about.
But Thecily Smith, an eighth-year girl whom she had tutored in sorcery, called out to her and eagerly started chatting about Lin’s hair. Thecily marveled at how beautiful she was with it down, how straight it was, and so on. Lin was a bit stiff at first, guarded against Thecily’s effusive praise. Once Lin determined the girl wasn’t being sarcastic, she was deeply flattered. And after that, things got easier.
She joined Thecily’s group for dinner, as Pensey was busy putting out some sort of logistical fire. The food was delicious. The appetizers included prosciutto-wrapped fruit, beef and olive empanadas, shots of gazpacho, and other delights. Only students who had registered ahead of time were served a main course, but they had their choice of filet mignon and fall vegetables, sauteed ahi and combination fried rice, and a hearty vegetarian stew. There was even a vegan option, though Lin couldn’t be bothered to remember it. Jesus, I wonder what the budget on this was?
— 7:01 PM —
Just before they started serving dessert, Pensey parked herself next to Lin with a plate in either hand; appetizers towered on the left, and a filet on the right. She immediately began to wolf them down.
“Jesus, are you just now eating?” Lin asked.
“Yupff,” Pensey said with her mouth full.
She took the wine glass out of Lin’s hand and enjoyed a healthy gulp. Wow. She usually starves herself. It’s always “I have to watch my figure.” Like Jesus Christ, lady, how do you even have a figure at all given how little you eat? Lin laughed. But it’s nice to see you finally enjoying something you put so much work into.
“You really outdid yourself,” Lin said. “I’m sorry you haven’t been able to enjoy it.”
Pensey rolled her eyes and waved dismissively.
“I have been enjoying it! There was just a hiccup with the desserts. They ran out of fridge space. We solved it with cryo anima. Nothing spoiled. All good. Also, I couldn’t find you earlier. Were you brooding?”
“No!” Lin said faux-defensively, then admitted: “Okay, I was brooding a little. And then Azmuir came to talk, which was like an instant guilt trip…” Pensey groaned loudly, but Lin talked over her “I told him to fuck off! And I was good after that! I ate with Thecily Smith, Trinity Walker, and Jarrack Stone. We had conversations that didn’t pertain to training and everything.”
Pensey beamed and pantomimed enthusiastic applause. Lin took a bow. They sat together in silence for a bit, which had become something of a luxury to Lin.
So naturally Hace Fucking Matthews has to show up and ruin it.
He had started to approach their table, just as Dravnik That-Guy-Isn’t-Wearing-A-Shirt Sokolov took to center court to announce that the DJ would be kicking off the first dance. Pensey hastily gobbled two more bites of filet, took another gulp from Lin’s glass, dabbed her mouth with her napkin, and then stood to meet Matthews.
But fast as Pensey was, Lin was faster. She intercepted her before they could reach each other.
“Ah, ah, ah. I’m cutting in,” Lin said.
“What? But it’s the first dance!” Pen whined.
“Isn’t the last dance the one that matters? Besides, I need to put Matthews on notice,” Lin said.
Pensey puffed her cheeks and crossed her arms. Matthews emanated disappointment, gestured apologies, and followed Lin to the dance floor. The first dances of the night were always relatively quiet compared to the bulk of the entertainment—Lin didn’t want to have to shout for Matthews to hear her. He placed his right hand on her waist, and she placed hers on his shoulder. This was their second—and hopefully final—time dancing together, but Lin was both surprised and annoyed to remember that Matthews’ musicality was quite good.
“I don’t think I can adequately express how much I disapprove of your relationship,” Lin started.
“Seems plenty adequate to me,” Matthews muttered.
Lin gave him a warning glance before continuing:
“That said, I am willing to take a cautious step back. You did well, protecting her from Renair, and I haven’t seen her this happy since… ever. But mark these words, Matthews: if you sleep around, break her heart, or hurt her in any way, I will put you down like a rabid dog, is that clear?”
“Crystal,” Hace said, seriously.
“Good. Now, having settled that… I also needed to say ‘thank you.’ Err, for finding my brother.”
Matthews smirked at Lin’s faltering tone.
“You sure? I think I’d have an easier time telling lies.”
Lin glared at him, at a loss for a comeback. Hace emanated an apology and explained:
“I really didn’t do anything. Fitz and I were about to exit the Faed when he literally fell into our path. But I’m glad we found him when we did. It’s not every day you get to play hero to one of your heroes.”
Lin looked amused. Matthews snickered.
“What? Is it so strange that I’m a fan? I saw his perfect defense. He’s the youngest Amagia to be appointed to the Special Guard in Erician history. The guy’s a living legend.”
“Well, he’s also grateful for your assistance. Told me to tell you he owes you one. I can probably get you an autograph if you want.”
“Ha! I think I’ll wear his favor as a badge of honor instead, thanks.” Hace said. But then his smile dimmed. “Since we’re being so forthright each other, I need to thank you too. If you hadn’t risked everything to come help us…”
Lin nodded stiffly and emanated muted thanks. I was the one who put Pensey in danger in the first place. And in the end, it was Ginsburg who cleaned up my mess.
“We cut that too close,” Lin said seriously. “It’s funny. I’ve been so eager to get out there and prove myself, but… Now, it feels like I’ll never be ready for the Force.”
“I know what you mean. We barely made it out alive,” Hace agreed. “But without your help, Pensey and I would be dead. Renair too, probably.”
“Death might have been a kinder fate for Renair,” Lin observed.
Matthews shrugged.
“After Nyka, Citri, and his other victims, it would be better than he deserves. Besides, he’s recovered somewhat. Glem told me that he can walk and talk again.”
“That’s a relief,” Lin said. “The man was a monster, but I’d prefer he stand trial.”
She was still haunted by Borman’s comment about how she did a ‘nice job’ brutalizing Renair, even though the worst of his injuries were backlash from his own psychotic alchemical overdoses. The charges against him are steep too. And judging by the daily headlines, the implications of his arrest keep getting bigger.
“Did you hear that Plath was involved as well?” Lin asked. “I read in the paper that Renair found out she was filching reagents, either for personal projects and personal use, so he blackmailed her into turning a blind eye.”
Matthews nodded.
“Pensey and I happened to be at the lab when campus security and the AKF raided her office on Jovday. Now they’re doing a comprehensive inventory to determine just how much has ‘gone missing.’ None of the alchemy students can get reagents until they’re through.”
Lin snickered. It was a colossal mess and a spectacular scandal. It was all the local press would talk about, and the story was starting to get national attention. In some respects, Lin was grateful. There were so many sensational angles to cover that the press had paid little attention to the former Archon’s daughter’s involvement with the case.
They continued to sway together tepidly. Their technique was crisp and their musicality was on point, but they still appeared stiff to those around them and tried to avoid eye contact as much as possible. The romantic country crooning seemed to stretch on ad infinitum.
“Listen, to circle back to Pensey…” Matthews said.
Lin inclined her head, emanating that he was on thin ice:
“I know she’s precious to you and you’ve been her friend a lot longer than I have. But I am serious about her. I know I’ve fucked around, fucked up—”
“Yes, you’ve fucked every which way at every possible opportunity,” Lin said mildly.
“That ends now,” Hace said, resolute. “And seeing how Pen is important to both of us, I think we should try to bury the hatchet. At least when the three of us are together.”
Lin frowned. She didn’t like Hace using Pensey’s nickname. She still didn’t like him. Period. But I respect Pensey and her decisions. He will be an important part of her life, for however long this ends up lasting. And Pensey swallowed her disapproval when it came to Azmuir. I really don’t have a leg to stand on.
“We don’t have to be besties,” Hace continued. “We don’t even have to like each other, but I don’t want her to feel like we’re at each other’s throats all the time. It will stress her out and make her sad.”
Lin sighed and tilted her head in concession.
“I propose we give each other ample breathing room,” Lin said at length. “Seeing you two together gives me a toothache. And if you think that I will take things easy on you in training—”
Hace gave her an exasperated stare.
“You don’t know how to take anything easy. Training, sparring, and other competitions will be business as usual. I promise. But around Pensey, I’m calling for a cease fire.”
The song finally came to a close. Lin took her hands off Hace’s shoulder, and extended a hand. He smirked, took it, and shook it.
As the two of them walked back to the edge of the dance floor, Pensey was tapping her toe with impatience. But before she could meet Matthews, Lin intercepted her again, took her hand, and started to drag her back to the dance floor.
“I’m cutting in again!” Lin said.
“What? Lin!” Pensey complained.
“Nope. I’m invoking best friend privileges. You two have the whole rest of the night to whisper sweet nothings to each other.”
— Pensey Hayes | 7:07 PM —
Pensey pretended to reach longingly at Hace as Lin dragged her out to the dance floor. But when the song started, Lin took the lead and Pensey fell into step, as was tradition between them. She guided them deeper into the crowd, probably hoping to get out of Hace’s earshot.
“So whose idea was it to have Drav cosplay as a stripper?” Lin asked, smirking.
“Who do you think?! I had a bad feeling as soon as he volunteered to MC.”
“Hey, I’m not complaining. Nice touch really. These things are always so staid and stuffy.”
Pensey smirked as they drifted among the falling, illusory leaves. Lin looked at them appreciatively and turned back to Pensey.
“Wow. How long did these glamours take?”
“The whole day.” Pensey said, voice dripping with fatigue. “But like you said, these things are always so stuffy. I wanted at least one of our Athenaeum dances to make happy memories that are genuinely memorable.”
“Is that why you started dating Matthews?”
Just as Pensey was about to swallow the bait whole, Lin cracked up and emanated peace:
“I’m kidding, Pen. I know you’ve been eying him forever.”
“Y-you did?”
“Yes,” Lin said flatly. “You always mention it whenever you run into him on campus, and you wear this… guilty, shit-eating smile whenever I talk about what an ass he is.”
“If you knew, then why didn’t you help me!?” Pensey pouted.
“Because I think he’s a fucking tool!” Lin said, as if it should be self-evident. “But for your sake, and your sake alone, I am going to resist the staggering urge to punch him in the face every time I see him. When we are in your presence, at least.”
Pensey’s face glowed. That’s the closest thing to an endorsement Lin will ever grant us.
“That’s sweet of you,” Pensey said, then added: “And I really appreciate it.”
“I still think he’s a tool,” Lin clarified. “And if he ever hurts you, I reserve the right to brutally murder him. But you’re a grown-ass woman with a heart that wants what it wants or whatever. Besides, seeing how you’re either with him or texting him lately, I think I need to be realistic.”
“You do!” Pensey agreed brightly. “At minimum we’ve got two more years rooming together, and if you think you can shake me after we graduate, you’ve got another thing coming.”
Lin laughed.
“I’ll be surprised if you can stand him for two weeks. But there’s no way I’m trusting that idiot to take care of you without my supervision. So you aren’t shaking me either.”
“What if I end up marrying that idiot?” Pensey asked wickedly.
Lin gaped at her like she had said something absolutely filthy and exclaimed:
“Pensey!”
Pensey simply smiled, and rested her head on Lin’s shoulder. There’s no such thing as a sure thing in life. She scanned the crowd for Hace and found him standing at the edge of the floor with an exasperated, amused smile on his lips. But after years of longing, and just a week of conversations, I already know I love that man. And I’m pretty sure he’ll figure out he loves me too. She realized that Lin had been lecturing her the whole time, as if one could list out a legal case to overrule the heart.
“Pen, are you even listening?”
Lin followed Pensey’s gaze to Hace, and then turned her around, as if to shield her from him. Pensey started laughing, which had the bonus of making Lin even madder.
“I’m so glad you aren’t getting expelled,” Pensey said, laughing.
Lin smiled fairly convincingly, but Pensey could see the pain there. Aw shit. I killed the mood. She thinks she’s made no progress at getting along with people, even though she’s gotten so much better at reading people and hiding her own emotions. But I know your expressions better than you know them yourself.
“What’s wrong?” Pensey asked.
Lin shook her head, sighing:
“I fucked up, Pen. I put your life in direct danger and barely managed to rescue you. Hell, I didn’t manage to rescue you. The only reason any of us are still alive is thanks to Ginsburg.”
Pensey tried to interject, but Lin kept talking in a torrent:
“I don’t deserve to be here. Especially after Azmuir got expelled for something he didn’t do. I hate special treatment, I hate breaking the rules, but I still let my parents bail me out for committing literal crimes.”
“My mother finally admitted that she doesn’t think I’d make a good Keeper. Like, she told me to my face, after all these years. She told me why too, and the worst part is, I think she might be right.”
Christ, I hate that bitch.
“She’s not,” Pensey said, her voice airy but confident.
Lin explained anyway:
“She said that there’s too much of her in me. I like to win too much. I am too selfish, and I’m not willing to face political realities in the face of my personal ideals. And after everything I did, I can’t deny it. Even Carroll agrees that I fucked up.”
Pensey thought for a long moment.
“There are plenty of people who deserve second chances that don’t get them,” Pensey started. “Worse yet, there are people who get second chances when they don’t deserve them. But you aren’t one of them, Lin.”
“Why?” Lin asked.
“Too many reasons to count,” Pensey said. “But the one that matters most, to me, at least, is that you will make good on your second chance. You will learn from it. You will become a better person and a better amagia. Apart from that… you saved our lives, brought a criminal to justice without killing him, and gave his victims closure. You did win, Lin, and that should count for something.”
Lin bowed her head. Pensey continued:
“I know better than most that our system is broken. Probably strange hearing that from an aspirant Leximancer, but… Amagiate law is lax where it should be firm, and rigid where it should be accommodating. People easily lose sight of what is possible and what is actually good in the face of your mother’s ‘political realities.’ You will be a good Keeper because you realize there are more important things in life than being a good Keeper.”
Lin looked at Pensey like she wanted to believe her, but ultimately scoffed and shook her head.
“What are you talking about, Pen? Becoming a good Keeper is all I’ve wanted out of life. It’s the only thing I thought I was good at. It’s basically my substitute for a personality. It’s the goal I use to justify every decision I make—”
“Yes!” Pensey agreed. “And this ‘fuck-up’ is going to save you from that fate. Like, you don’t know what you want out of life beyond peacekeeping, right?”
Lin nodded.
“Would you call that a weakness?” Pensey asked.
Lin squinted at her, confused. Pensey giggled and continued:
“About nine years ago, a very smart girl told me that weaknesses are only dangerous if you use them as excuses to stay weak, rather than reasons to get stronger.”
Pensey knew that Lin remembered based on her expression.
“Nine years later, though, and I still suck at people. Even though I’ve had an amazing teacher.”
“I was just thinking about how far you’ve come actually. And you are an amazing teacher yourself! Every girl who has declared peacekeeping since you’ve enrolled has looked up to you! You just don’t make friends easily, mainly because you haven’t left yourself any time for it. So after thesis declarations and the last of ninth year exams… maybe budget some time for getting to know people. Starting with yourself.”
As the song ended, Lin pulled Pensey close and hugged her.
“Thank you for saving me,” Lin whispered.
“That’s my line,” Pensey whispered back, then pulled away. “But now that you’ve cut in twice, I’m going to dance with my shiny new boyfriend.”
Lin made a great show of sighing and resignedly gestured for Pensey to go ahead. She would have bounded back to Hace if it weren’t for the blasted heels. He waited at a table on the edge of the dance floor, grinning. He stood as she approached.
“Third time’s the charm?” he asked Pensey, then peered at Lin with an eyebrow raised.
“Yeah, yeah. Get on with it,” Lin said and then muttered, “I need another drink anyway.”
Hace bowed at Pensey and extended his hand. She took it with exaggerated primness, then laughed at herself as he led her onto the dance floor. The music had switched to something up tempo, and the mode of dance adapted accordingly. Pensey’s disappointment at missing the two ‘warm up’ dances quickly gave way to the simple joy of movement and song.
Most amagia were poor-to-mediocre dancers. Their lives left little time for it. But Keepers, having mastered their bodies and acrobatic telekinetics, were the most common exceptions. A circle eventually formed where people would perform in pairs or alone. Drav had shed his cape and coat—but not his bowtie—and did an impressive display of Russian kicks, split jumps, and a backflip. Hace followed suit with some sorcery assisted breakdancing, a series of windmill kicks that ended with a coffee-grinder.
Pensey knelt down to quickly remove her heels, and when Hace bowed out of the spotlight, Pensey brushed past him, saying:
“Watch this.”
She leapt into the center of the circle with a gravity defying gran jete, followed by a quick flurry of scissor kicks, and a chasse that segued into an explosive double tour en l’air. The crowd went nuts even though it was a ridiculous juxtaposition. Her musicality was spot on, but Fiemma Staples’ “Toxic” was hardly an ideal backdrop for ballet. Whatever. It’s my opus, dammit, and I never get to show it off!
Hace was dumbstruck.
“I had no idea you could move like that,” he said.
“You should see me en pointe,” Pensey said as if it meant something much naughtier.
An electro-swing track turned into a duet of twirls and spins. They shuffled through other familiar tracks with designated dances, periodically trading partners. Glem danced with Pensey, Hace with Feryl, and both of them with Drav in sequence. To Pensey’s surprise, Senice Cole stole Hace for a dance, though like his first pairing with Lin, it seemed to be a pretense to issue a lecture and warning.
Pensey noticed a number of jealous onlookers as she danced with Hace, mostly underclasswomen, mostly harmless—though Kimiss Knight looked like she would will her dead given the choice. Pensey had to resist the urge to stick her tongue out.
Gradually, the tempo of the songs slowed, their lyrics trending toward romance. By that point Pensey was nearly worn out. She wasn’t sure what happened to her heels and didn’t particularly care, but her feet had started to ache from exertion. She used the complaint as an excuse to lean on Hace’s chest. And he supported her as if she was light as air.
“That perfume is intoxicating,” Hace whispered.
“Drink your fill,” Pensey replied.
He inhaled deeply and tickled her neck with his slow exhalation. I feel like I’m burning up. She pressed herself against his chest, and tilted her chin up to face him. He brushed her cheek and smiled. Not a boyish grin. Smiles held a lot of power, properly wielded, and Hace knew what he was doing. It was reassuring, and not necessarily possessive—but proud. He was happy to be there with her. She closed her eyes, and he finally—finally—kissed her, deep and slow. His lips were soft, his breath laced with citrus and spice.
They pulled away from each other, smiling and breathless.
And for a while, everything was perfect.
